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Before I start with the incredibly mundane things i’ve been doing on my voyage of discovery in the heart of the new west, by god that new Royal Blood record is shite. I gave into the unbearable hype the other day and finally had a listen. How did a band so boring AND so dreadful get so big. Premium grade shite. They really are a pair of tools. It’s very easy to say that somebody has a punchable face, but oh god the drummer.  The human equivalent of a morph suit.  Or the sort of person that goes to a festival and sits under a fucking gazebo all weekend, drinking strongbow, only to venture to the main stage to see Enter Shikari because he is really digging their new direction. Twat.

But yes aside from that Canada really has been super fun. I haven’t really been doing much of note as i’ve been buried in work,  ‘mid-terms’ or something like that. However I did venture out on Halloween which was genuinely great. I had no idea it was such an occasion in North America.  I even dressed up, I looked like so much of a schmuck I didn’t even care. IT WAS FUN.

I should be back blogginnnnnnn soon as I’m going skiing next week which i’m majorly pumped for. I’m sure there will be a number of antics I can tell you about.

Until then.

 

 

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As my spelindily mediocre foray into blogging slowly/painfully rambles on, I thought I would update (all three) of my readers what I’ve been getting up to in the so called “Heart of the New West”.

I went to a ‘frat party’ the other day which should have been appalling, but it actually ended up being rather enjoyable. I can’t really fathom why, but you know, one assumes it was the consumption of a bottle of Southern Comfort (I know #lad) and fucking oodles of ‘Burt Reynolds’ which are GREAT. Also the absence of blatant misogyny, which is stereotypically associated with these sort of events, was a welcome bonus. A jolly good show all round. Well played Calgary.

However the hangover the next day hit me like a fucking freight train, it was a nightmare. I was in a total mess. I can only liken it to when Tom Hanks loses Wilson in Castaway, I was truly on the verge of a full scale breakdown. Not good kids, watch out for that Mr Reynolds. Despite being treated like utter shit by the gods of alcohol (I know I used that in the last post but I like it OKAY?!>>!>) me and my roommate dragged ourselves to see Bombay Bicycle Club who were playing the U of C SU. It really was a total joy to see them in such a small venue, anyone who has tickets for the Earls Court show is in for a real treat.

I know I said there were some SINGAPORE BANTZZZ coming soon but Duncan Mackay being the cold blooded creature that he is, has started his own blog. You should follow it however: https://theduriandiary.wordpress.com. Duncan and Adam are currently travelling at the moment but Big D, as he is affectionally known by his closest of friends, did say he would write something for me. What a result.

Until then.

 

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Alcohol ft Canada

Ladies, gentleman, cockneys and Australians I am coming off the back of a ridiculous weekend/week of drinking and I’m still very tender, so please be nice. I was treated like shit by the gods of alcohol. I celebrated my 21st on Thursday and one had a bit too much cake if you know what I mean… There are unconfirmed reports that I was sick in stairwell which is not usually my style I must say, but you know you only turn 21 once and all that. I also had a ‘quiz’ the next day that I do not remember taking and I lost my shoes. Yet I did have a wail of a time and I aced my quiz/eventually found my shoes so up yours world.

Canadians seem to religiously play drinking games and it’s been getting me extraordinarily wasted. I will be the first to admit that I used to fucking despise drinking games. To me it just screams organised fun, which you know is plainly not fun. Yet since i’ve been over here I have (whisper it quietly) actually started to enjoy these  games. I am putting this down to the sole reason that Canadian drinking games tend to involve ping pong balls. I used to represent Great Britain at ping pong and finished 27th in the European Championships in Helsinki in 2002, so obviously it is very nostalgic for me. Take note England drinking games need more ping pong balls.

Until next time.

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Calgary

I’m wrote the first part of this post on an aeroplane whilst listening to a song about being on a train. It was well eerie, like the time I discovered a certain ‘Duncan Mackay’ eating Christmas pudding in the depths of April. Trippy

I also watched ‘Her’ which was fucking emotional. Don’t fall in love with an ‘operating system’ kids. Never a good idea. It is well worth a watch though, Joaquin Phoenix is brilliant. As long as you are able to stomach the fucking annoying melancholy piano and the predictable/downright irritating filter the whole film seems to be in, it will be an enjoyable 123 minutes.

Yet from my recent travels I have discovered there is something about watching films on planes that transforms me into a fucking emotional mess. Under normal circumstances one usually has full control over his emotions, but at 37,000 feet I’m all over place. It’s the either the altitude; the synthetic bread that tastes like wet wipes, the fact the whole ‘cabin’ has an immensely peculiar smell, the unbearable gent sitting next to you, who is naturally wearing an iron maiden/slipknot/avenged sevenhold hoody, has really big headphones (which emit the most appalling music) and has rather poor eating habits. Whatever it is it makes me SAD. OKAY?!

Despite the roller coaster of emotions I experienced on my flight to Calgary, I think I’ve settled into Canadian life smoothly. I’ve managed to meet people, got a solid set of flat mates and I once got so drunk I slept in all my clothes (shoes and all).

I’m going to write a short post on Canadian drinking culture in the coming days. It will be worth a read.

Until then,

PEACE.

vt.

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